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Torkpoi Tolongbo
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By Pastor Mohamed Sesay

After spending donkey's years at the UN while systematically trying to create an autobiography of his exploits, the man called Dr Kandeh Kolleh Yumkella and who is dubbed KKY by supporters, returned to Sierra Leone and quickly plunged into the political swimming pool of this country. Without going through swimming lessons and actually finding out the width, breath, and most importantly the depth of the swimming pool, he just jumped in with trousers and all. After Yumkella found himself knee deep inside the pool but found himself still sinking, it was then he sought the advice of those whom he thought and believed had had a plunge before him inside that same swimming pool. Standing by the side of the pool were four categories of people from whom Yumkella was seeking advice as his head stays above water for a time:

Those with life rafts readily available. They advised that he hanged on to that raft and returned so he could take some swimming lessons before taking a dip in the far future.

There were those who had entered that swimming pool before but survived after being rescued by the life rafts of the Sierra Leone Peoples Party but who, at this time of Yumkella struggles, wanted to pretend that they were some swimming experts that survived through their swimming skills.

There were those who never went that deep as Yumkella was now doing but rather stood on the sides while others struggled but who went back home to tell relatives that they did enter that pool and survived it.

There were also those who waited for those who were taking the plunge to return and then they went to them and subtly shared the prize monies with them.

As Yumkella shouted desperately as a sudden whirlpool took over, the latter three shouted to him to take their advice. "What must I do to be saved?" Yumkella shouted not knowing who to trust. Those with the life rafts were calm just pointing at their rafts for Yumkella to see sense and return but he never paid attention to them. "Go for it", the do gooders and the deceitful liars shouted to him. "It's easy." Gasping for breath as he began to sink finally, Yumkella asked: "How?" "No idea," they answered back.

From the beginning, Yumkella had been a pawn in the hands of his handlers who are mostly former disgruntled SLPP members who, because of their own personal grudges for crimes nobody committed against them, were seeking revenge, saw Yumkella as the right diving board to step on to vent their venom on the very party which made them what most of them are today. The plot was concrete. It was just reminiscent of the Nikolai and Elena Ceausescu of Romania drama, who, up to the last minute, were told by their handlers that they were popular until they ended up being slaughtered by young soldiers.

Yumkella was afar when he was told that the whole nation has warmed up to him. Having worked for the UN for very long, they thought he was loaded and that he will be ready to deliver those dollar bills.

Dr Gbonda at one stage assumed Yumkella's campaign manager role just hoping against hope but he has since melted after reality dawned on him that what he was actually seeing as some Utopia was actually a mirage.

Lawyer Mogbe Musa, who was so enthusiastic about the KKY movement, has gone into hibernation.

Tejansie has vamoosed.

Kolleh the perennial defector has safely defected to the APC.

But the liars that are lying to Doctor Yumkella and who plan to lie to him to the end have remained steadfast coming up with one lie after the other. What most people, even including Yumkella himself, didn't know, was that the activities that were taking place at SLPP HQ which appeared to be disadvantaging Yumkella, were actually orchestrated by the liars to present a picture of Yumkella being the underdog that was being persecuted by members of Paopa.

The first lie was to rent a crowd so that that crowd will be presented to Yumkella as his new following. The Abacha Street boys and girls rented were to later laugh it off as they spent their rent money on things for themselves and parents and added a T-shirt to their respective wardrobes. Yumkella, without thinking, believed that those rented Abacha Street boys were actually SLPP supporters when they were not.

This was what prompted his fuss about his membership of the SLPP which was to later cause embarrassment for him. The liars pushed Yumkella forward to insist he was a member of the SLPP when he never was until after the secret finally came out that he never was a member, the liars told him to go and register so he could be a full member of the SLPP. That registration was to finally destroy whatever credibility was left in Yumkella as it brought shame upon him. To cut a long story short, Yumkella registered his own party after the liars told him that by just talking about his work at the UN and by laying claim to the Bankasoka project at Port Loko, he will become president, Yumkella is now going around doing exactly as told by the liars wasting his financial resources and bringing unnecessary worries on his family on a fruitless endeavour.

How does Yumkella expect to win an election with just 69 delegates? Only compulsive and pathological liars can make an intelligent man like him believe such a lie. What the liars never told Yumkella is that ALL the people who are supposedly defecting from the SLPP to his party, are people who had left the SLPP even before the 2012 elections who never even voted for the SLPP but yet, if not for the mess caused by Christiana Thorpe, SLPP could have won that election without them.

Now the liars are on the fringe ready to ditch him as elections draw close and finally dissociate from him after the elections.

Fortunately for Yumkella, those with the life rafts are still waiting to drag him out of the Sierra Leone Political Swimming Pool when he finally decides to come to his senses and they will give him proper swimming lessons for the next dip probably in 2028.

Edited by Mamu Al Conteh.

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